The Golf Outing Sheriff says:
I jes cain't believe what an amazing deal I got fer ya. I ain't never seen nothin' like this! It's like robbin' someone ‘cept it's all fine and legal.
Here's the deal for this golf season.
Rather play on weekends? You kin have $45 per pard after 11am Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I kin also fix you up with good deals if’n you’d like to play earlier in the morning.
And listen up ... book your package before Christmas, and I'll throw in a hot dog and bag of chips — that’s an $8 value each!
Looking for fancier grub? We got all kinds of fixin’s for ya, includin’ our western style barbeque buffet. And we ain’t gonna charge you an arm and a leg for ‘em either.
Hey – I ain’t dun yit--
Yep, whether ya got 144 pards, or jes 16 in yer gang, the Champions Club is gonna do ya right for the perfect golf outing. Every gang’s a good gang here! What the heck-fire are ya waitin’ for?
Alright, enough with the romancin' and sweet talkin',
Don’t make me break out the cattle-prod jes’ to be hearin’ from ya.
We ain’t off the beaten path —
Located in the Inland Empire, the Champions Club is only 5 minutes off the I-15 at the Weirick Road exit, a few minutes south of the 91.
Affordable outin’ packages that you won’t have to
So jes tell me exactly what it is ya’ll be needin’ and we’ll rustle it up fer ya!
Your golfin’ lawman,
Straight Shootin’ Scott Wasco
PS: Hey, pard – our Western-style clubhouse and pavilion are dee-lightful. We may have to coax a few of your participants out to the course!
Champions Club at the Retreat • The Most Enjoyable Inland Empire Golf Course